Against Me! is an American punk rock band that was formed in 1997. Their range of genres can be considered punk rock, folk punk, alternative rock, and anarcho-punk. Laura Jane Grace is the founder of the band as well as the lead singer, guitarist, and songwriter for most of the band’s music. The band had many members come and go over the years, but amidst all the changes, their music was a success and Grace continued going on tours even when she was by herself. Against Me!’s first album was released in 2001 and they continued to release albums, EPs, and singles throughout the years, their latest single was released in 2019. The band had arrangements to put out more music but their plans were derailed due to COVID-19 and quarantine. Since then, Grace has released a few solo projects in 2020 and 2021.
In 2012, Grace publicly came out as a trans woman. Grace reported that she had dealt with gender dysphoria since her childhood. Four years after coming out, in 2016, the band released their sixth album Transgender Dysphoria Blues. This work of art is their highest-charting album to date. The song, also called Transgender Dysphoria Blues, alludes to Grace’s experience with gender dysphoria following her transition and coming out. She talks a lot about others’ perception of her and wanting to be seen “like every other girl.” She also mentions the stigma around being transgender and the unvalidated view of it as a sickness. She writes “they hold their breath not to catch the sick.” I chose Against Me! And this song frankly because I like them and their music. I hadn’t heard of them prior to researching them, but finding their music has been a gift. I believe this kind of work is important because it’s not everyday that you see trans folk in the punk and/or rock scene.
Here’s Transgender Dysphoria Blues covered by us, The Moonlight Rose! I’m super excited to share this work and I hope everyone checks out Against Me! as well as our little band. We don’t do Grace justice but we had a lot of fun making this cover. Our members include Malakai on vocals and guitar, Ed on drums, Greg on guitar as well, Irekani on keys, and me on bass! We’re based in the 503 area and we’re just getting started. We love sharing our work (so far it’s just covers but there’s more to come) and appreciate any form of support. Follow us on instagram @the.moonlightrose!
As a South Asian queer Muslim who grew up in Pakistan, my journey led me to discover the beauty of the Hijra community—a community I was cautioned against but found resonance within. I am grateful for the enriching encounters with these healing souls. I am compelled, as a member of this diverse community, to extend empathy and compassion to those less fortunate than myself.
With this sentiment, this project aims to provide a comprehensive digital archive, highlighting the intricate history, rich cultures, and diverse experiences of the Hijra community. In doing so, I also aim to shine a light on the narratives of prominent figures and the work being done within this community. Through this knowledge and storytelling, my goal is to create a deeper understanding of the Hijra community and celebrate their valuable contributions to society.
“They say it’s the soul which is Hijra” -Laxmi Narayan Tripathi
Overview: Understanding the Hijra Community- Struggles, Resilience, and Identity
The Hijra community is one of the most marginalized and misunderstood communities that holds a rich tapestry of history, culture, and identity in South Asia. They are individuals who do not conform to traditional and enforced gender binary norms and face tremendous challenges yet demonstrate remarkable resiliency in the face of societal prejudice, violence, and discrimination through strong underground social networks and preserving long-lost culture due to colonialism.
Historically, the Hijra community traces its roots back to ancient times and mentions are found in Hindu mythology and ancient Indian texts. Proof of their existence dates back to before Christ. In other words, they have been around since humanity. Regarded as neither male nor female, they were seen as spiritual healers and were highly respected in Indian society. Hijras were often revered for their healing abilities and blessing children. However, of course, this all changed and the community began to face extreme marginalization and erasure due to colonialism and the rise of the British Raj, in which their existence became illegal, exacerbating their social exclusion.
Culturally, the Hijra community has a rich and colorful identity which is manifested through rituals, language, and social hierarchies. The social hierarchies are what are known as the “Guru-Chela” system. This system is where older and more experienced Hijra mentors provide community and support for the newcomers. They work as a collective to ensure their survival through housing and collective work and ensuring the safety of one another. Further, the Hijra language known as Hijra Farsi also serves as a linguistic marker of their unique cultural identity.
Hijra Farsi
Unfortunately, despite their rich cultural significance and history, Hijras face systemic discrimination and prejudice. Legal recognition has been a persistent challenge, with many countries lacking clear visions for their rights. Lack of legal recognition, exclusion from education, and employment, and lack of healthcare perpetuates the cycle of poverty and vulnerability which leads to further trauma and abuses.
On the bright side, in recent years, efforts to address these issues have seen positive shifts. Though still a work in progress legal reforms have taken place in regards to the legal recognition of the community. This offers hope for an increase in social acceptance. Additionally, many NGOs (Non-Governmental Organizations) and advocacy groups play a crucial role in raising awareness and dismantling discriminatory practices.
The evolving landscape of acceptance is also evident in the cultural atmosphere. Artistic expressions, literature, and media have slowly been starting to portray the Hijra community more inclusively and challenging negative stereotypes. However, these positive efforts are tempered with backlash and violence.
Timeline of the Hijra Community: A Journey of Identity and Resilience
Ancient Roots (Approx. 220 BCE-100 CE):
Mentioning of the Hijra community in ancient Hindu mythology and texts
Perceived to have spiritual powers, seen as healers, and highly respected
Favored by the royal courts
Medieval Period (700 CE-1700 CE):
Beginnings of the “Guru-Chela” system, creating a sense of mentorship and community
Further prominence in the Mughal courts, served as trusted advisors and guardians
Colonial Era (1700 CE-1947):
British colonial authorities entered and criminalized Hijra practices enforcing marginalization
British authorities goal to end Hijra way of life
Hijra’s face societal stigmatization and discrimination
Post Independence Period (1947-1990’s):
Legal challenges as many countries persist on the erasure of the Hijra community
Erasure of rights through systemic discriminatory practices
Regardless of challenges, Hijra’s maintain and protect cultural practices and traditions
Late 20th Century:
Emergence of advocacy groups and NGOs working towards Hijra rights and recognition
Increase in activism
21st Century
Legal reforms and recognition in certain regions
Increase in visibility in the media and arts
Increase in challenging stereotypes
Continues violence and discrimination, further highlighting need for ongoing advocacy
Present (2023)
Continuation of the Hijra community’s efforts in navigating the complexities of societal challenges and legal recognition
Ongoing efforts in addressing discrimination, education, and healthcare access
Prominent Figures: Laxmi Narayan Tripathi
“It is through faith that the original status of the transgender people can be reclaimed“- Laxmi Narayan Tripathi
Laxmi Narayan Tripathi, born on December 2, 1979, in Thane, Maharashtra, India, Tripathi is one of the most influential and prominent figures in Indian transgender rights advocacy.
Her life’s journey is an example of resilience, courage, and a commitment to challenging societal norms.
Tripathi’s growing up faced many challenges and discrimination due to her Hijra identity. The lack of societal acceptance and understanding often led to her marginalization. However, these experiences only fueled Tripathi’s determination to bring about change. She pursued a degree in arts and graduated from Mumbai’s Mithibai College and later pursued a post graduate degree in Bharatanatyam (classical Indian dance with spiritual themes)
In the early 2000s, Laxmi Narayan Tripathi began her advocacy for transgender rights. She embarked on a mission to create awareness and promote inclusivity for the transgender community in India. She attended the 2006 World AIDS Conference in Canada to advocate for her communities. Tripathi’s advocacy extended beyond local platforms, reaching international recognition when she became the first transgender person to represent Asia Pacific at the United Nations in the capacity of a non-governmental organization (NGO) member in 2007.
The turning point in Tripathi’s advocacy came in 2014 when the Indian Supreme Court, recognized transgender individuals as the third gender and in 2018 led to the courts decision in decriminalizing same-sex relationships. These crucial decisions were a significant stride towards equality, breaking down legal barriers that had perpetuated discrimination for years.
Tripathi’s influence extended even further into the entertainment industry. She became a familiar face in Bollywood such as reality television shows and used these platforms to amplify her message and challenge stereotypes surrounding transgender individuals. Her participation in shows like Bigg Boss and Sach Ka Saamna, along with her documentary Between the lines not only showcased her personality but also contributed to normalizing the presence of transgender individuals in mainstream media. She also published her autobiography sharing her unique story in 2012, “Me, Hijra, Me Laxmi”. In 2017, she received the Rainbow Warrior Award, thanking her for her services.
Beyond her advocacy, her career in dance and arts and Bollywood films demonstrate that talent knows no gender, breaking traditional and societal norms in the entertainment industry.
In addition to her national impact, Tripathi played a crucial role in the global dialogue on transgender rights. Her involvement in international forums and discussions perpetuate the universal nature of the challenges faced by transgender communities worldwide, creating a sense of solidarity.
Currently, Tripathi lives with her fiance, Aryan Pasha, a transgender man and have adopted two children. Laxmi Narayan Tripathi continues her multifaceted efforts. Whether speaking at international conferences, gracing the screen, or championing legal reforms, she is hope for the transgender community.
Laxmi Narayan Tripathi’s life is an inspirational narrative and testament of overcoming adversity, breaking barriers in both social perception and legal recognition. Her advocacy has not only transformed the landscape for transgender individuals in India but has also globally, leaving a mark on the ongoing fight for equality and acceptance.
Prominent Figures Continued: Kami Sid
Kami Sid is a Pakistani transgender rights activist, model, and actress. She gained prominence for her activism in promoting the rights of transgender individuals in Pakistan. Kami Sid has been a vocal proponent of equality, inclusion, and social acceptance for the transgender community.
She rose to fame as Pakistan’s first transgender model, breaking barriers and challenging societal norms. Her modeling work has aimed to challenge stereotypes and contribute to a more inclusive representation of gender diversity in the fashion industry.
Kami Sid has also been involved in various initiatives focused on education, healthcare, and employment opportunities for transgender individuals in Pakistan. Through her visibility in the media and public engagements, she strives to raise awareness about the challenges faced by the transgender community and works towards fostering a more tolerant and understanding society.
Breaking barriers in the fashion industry, she has challenged the conventional standards of beauty and gender representation. Through her work as a model, Sid has sent a powerful message that beauty knows no gender, encouraging a more diverse and inclusive understanding of aesthetics.
Beyond the runway, Kami Sid has actively engaged in advocacy work, striving to bring about policy changes and legal reforms for the transgender community in Pakistan. Her efforts have aimed at dismantling systemic barriers that hinder the full participation of transgender individuals in society. By participating in public discourse and awareness campaigns, Sid has effectively used her platform to shed light on the challenges faced by the transgender community.
In addition to her advocacy in the public sphere, Kami Sid has also made strides in the entertainment industry. Her presence as a transgender actress challenges the status quo and contributes to the normalization of transgender individuals in mainstream media. By breaking stereotypes and showcasing her talent, Sid has played a crucial role in expanding the representation of transgender individuals beyond narrow and limiting narratives.
As a symbol of resilience, Kami Sid’s work extends beyond borders, resonating with the global conversation on transgender rights.
Further Mentions of Figures and their work
Ayesha:
A Pakistani Hijra activist and the founder of the organization Gender Interactive Alliance (GIA).
Known for her efforts in promoting transgender rights and inclusion in Pakistan.
Bindumadhav Khire:
An Indian transgender activist, author, and founder of the organization Samapathik Trust.
Advocates for the rights and well-being of transgender and Hijra individuals.
Kalki Subramaniam:
An Indian transgender rights activist, artist, and actress.
Openly identifies as a Hijra and works towards creating awareness about transgender issues through various platforms.
Abhina Aher:
An Indian transgender activist and artist.
Advocates for transgender rights, focusing on issues such as healthcare, education, and employment.
These individuals have played crucial roles in raising awareness, challenging stereotypes, and advocating for the rights and dignity of the Hijra community.
Why does this all matter?
Human Rights and Dignity:
Protecting Hijras is fundamentally about upholding their human rights and ensuring their dignity. Every individual, regardless of gender identity, deserves to be treated with respect, fairness, and without discrimination.
Social Inclusion and Equality:
Promoting the rights of the Hijra community is a step toward fostering a more inclusive society. Everyone should have equal opportunities and access to resources, education, employment, and healthcare, irrespective of their gender identity.
Preserving Cultural Diversity:
The Hijra community has a rich cultural heritage with unique traditions and practices. Protecting Hijras involves recognizing and preserving this cultural diversity, contributing to the overall richness of society.
Global Commitments to Human Rights:
International human rights frameworks emphasize the importance of protecting the rights of all individuals, regardless of gender identity. Advocating for the protection of Hijras aligns with these global commitments.
Protecting the Hijra community is a matter of human rights, social justice, and creating a society that values diversity and inclusivity. It requires addressing legal, social, and cultural challenges to ensure that Hijras can live with dignity, free from discrimination and violence.
Conclusion
By contributing to this archive project, I aim to play a crucial role in advancing knowledge, creating understanding, and promoting social change within the field of trans studies. My work contributes to the broader goal of recognizing and respecting the diversity of gender experiences worldwide and those that do not have a voice and recognition
In conclusion, ‘Embracing Diversity: The Hijra Experience: A Digital Repository -Preserving Narratives’ stands as a testament to the power of empathy, compassion, and shared narratives. As a South Asian queer Muslim, my personal journey and interactions with the resilient Hijra community have inspired this endeavor. This project, driven by a spirit of inclusivity, seeks to bridge cultural divides dispel misconceptions surrounding the Hijra community and highlight stories that are not heard.
By creating this digital archive that weaves together histories, cultures, and personal experiences, the aim is to celebrate the beauty of diversity. The spotlight on prominent figures within the Hijra community adds depth to the narrative, recognizing their invaluable contributions.
As we embark on this collective journey of education, empathy, and enlightenment, let us embrace the richness of the Hijra community’s heritage. May this archive serve as a source of understanding, breaking down barriers, and creating a society where diversity is not just acknowledged but celebrated. Together, we illuminate the path towards a more inclusive, compassionate world—one archive at a time.
Transition is often framed as a unidirectional, finite narrative culminating in the “completion” of a trans body, which reflects an essentialized trans soul. Through the work of trans scholars like Julian Carter and continuing discussions in the trans community around the linear narrative, we increasingly see how transition is not an obstacle on the way to transness, but a state of being inherent to the trans experience. If we can identify transitional abundance in this way, where else might we locate transition in the trans experience? I argue that we as trans people are constantly engaging in transitions: dressing in a gendered way for work or school, painting or packing on the weekends to go out with our friends, dismissing or disregarding our identities for the comfort of others or the safety of ourselves. If we are invested in trans liberation and endeavor to break the transnormative narratives that exist both within the dominant social discourse and our own community, it is critical that we approach transition and, by extension, transness itself with an expansive viewpoint. We must each be empowered to claim transness in our own way and, as Carter states in his essay Keyword: Transition, “live in the time of our own becoming.”
In this photo essay, I seek to further expand the concept of transition and crystallize transitional movements of trans people in their daily lives. The title of this essay, Transit of Ila, draws inspiration from the Hindu deity Ila and their story. Ila exists in a state of transition, constantly changing genders to fulfill the expectations laid upon them by their family, their partner, and the gods. We, too, exist within an ever-shifting internal and external framework, our motion dictated by the winds of our efforts and the tides of social expectation. We are celestial bodies who transit around, across, and through one another, showing a different self when set against the sun or the night sky. As more trans folks resonate with the liberatory possibilities of what an expansive approach to transition could mean for trans folks across the globe, it is my hope that they will share their daily transitions through this project, which will continue growing along with our understanding of transition.
“I know it seems like a normal outfit but it was really stifling” -I.R., talking about their school clothes.
“I’m not out, so especially if I am preparing for a job interview or going back home to visit, my presentation changes. I don’t introduce myself with my pronouns, I don’t wear makeup, and I dress masculine. I transition everyday I leave my house.” -RS, artist
This is a poem I wrote about my experience growing up nonbinary and having the ability to put it into words, along with my relationship with my father. The video is composed of a recording of my poem Daddy Issues put to a slideshow if pictures of me growing up to help show that while I may look like a little girl but, I was always nonbinary.
Existence as resistance, focusing on the art style and versions of self through the experience of Elias Wakeem, or Madam Tayoush, a Palestinian drag queen and artist. Elias Wakeem is a genderqueer, nonbinary queer Arab artist, photographer, activist, and drag queen. Elias explores and celebrates various identities, embracing them as powerful tools for self-expression and resistance against societal norms. Through their art pieces and performances, Tayoush pushes against the constructs of ‘otherness,’ redefining cultural identities and inspiring a boundary-pushing creativity and defiance journey. Through depicting unique and unconventional body shapes and ideas, Elias constructs scenes that purposefully challenge societal norms. Utilizing performance art as a platform, Elias intricately incorporates various characters and personas, examining audience reactions to their profoundly personal narrative to push nonnormative boundaries.
“The term ‘Otherness’, expresses enrichment and not alienation. From the other, that is different, we can always learn something new. The other brings a new challenge, at the same time he can actually provide support, resulting in a universal magical energy” (Wakeem). https://eliasxwakeem.wixsite.com/eliasxo/bio
Elias Wakeem or Madam Tayoush.
Elias Wakeem was born in Tarshiha, Galilee, and grew up in a conservative Orthodox Christian family just outside Haifa, Gaza. Wakeem describes how their identity as Palestinian significantly shaped their experience growing up. Their interest in drag intersected with the emergence of their political consciousness after leaving home for Jaffa at 17. In an interview with The Electronic Intifada, Wakeem mentioned that their family rarely discussed politics at home. This silence surrounding politics stemmed from a deep-seated trauma rooted in their grandparents’ experiences during the Nakba, the 1948 creation of Israel, which resulted in the displacement of over 750,000 Palestinians from their homes and land. Wakeem’s journey of self-discovery regarding their sexual identity and political awareness began to intertwine. A year after leaving their home, Wakeem participated in a drag performance at an Israeli club in Jaffa, sharing the stage with multiple Israeli drag queens, marking a pivotal moment in their personal and political evolution.
Elias Wakeem came out to their family when they were 17, “when you get thrown into the water, you have two options: to dive underneath, and if you stay there without oxygen you will end up dying. Or, you can just let yourself relax and float above it,” (Wakeem speaking to the Electronic Intifada). Elias’s drag name and identity, Madam Tayoush, means ‘Lady Floating.’
Madam Tayoush’s direct quotes via an interview with the Electronic Intifada:
“I came out in a very drastic way. I dropped it on them like a bomb. I told them, ‘I’m gay and you just have to live with it because this is who I am” (Ashly, 2019).
“How much more can we hide? I don’t judge anyone, but for myself I cannot hide anymore. I want to show off. I want to be present and make people understand that we exist. Because this is the way we are and we’re not going anywhere,” they said (Ashly, 2019).
Wakeem obtained a B.F.A. in Fine Arts in 2015 and pursued an M.F.A. in Fine Art at the University of Haifa, where they honed their craft. Wakeem delivered a lecture titled “Existence is Resistance: The Roles of Art and Gender Experienced by a Palestinian Drag Queen” at both Harvard University and M.I.T. in 2014. Their participation in significant conferences, including the first LGBTQI Arab conference on “Sexualities and Queer Imaginariness from the Middle East/North Africa” at Brown University in 2015, accentuates their commitment to nurturing conversations and acceptance around nonnormative identities and experiences.
Aqida or Waxed.
“While challenging the Aqida that dictates that wax is only for women, he challenged himself and his perception of his body hair, and he challenged the audience and their tolerance and their concept of femininity and masculinity” (Wakeem & Marks, 2018).
The Aqida performance functions to challenge and defy conventional beauty norms and societal expectations regarding what is considered beautiful and normative. Elias resists the traditional idea that certain beauty practices, like waxing, are exclusively for one gender over another. Waxing, a common method for hair removal associated with attaining beauty, holds greater symbolism beyond achieving a hairless body; it serves as an exploration of sexuality and is capable of expanding and reflecting one’s gender identity.
Through Aqida, Wakeem pushes boundaries, questioning established notions of femininity and masculinity, beauty standards, and societal assumptions that might conflict with an individual’s perception of their own gender. The performance aims to explore the concept of beauty beyond the confines of normative expectations, inviting contemplation on the subjective nature of beauty and the diverse ways individuals express their identities.
Wakeem was waxed by a Palestinian beauty studio owner, who had never waxed a man before.
There was a live audience throughout the process of Elias being waxed.
In a lecture video titled “Queer Palestinian Herstory,” Madam Tayoush shares a video filmed by her and a partner traveling back to Israel after performing drag in Stockholm for four and a half days. They document their experience of being harassed by security, despite having Israeli IDs. and their statements of resistance and comfortability in their identities and expressions.
Elias has described their experience in shifting from religion to spirituality, emphasizing the inherent sacredness of all beings. They have come to understand bodies and expression as being sacred and worthy. Through this realignment to spirituality, Elias views their nonbinary identity as enriching their practices and internal-spiritual-emotional journeys. They feel comfort and power in reclaiming that nothing is wrong with the way they express or explore gender identities.
Genderqueer as a way of resistance.
Their gender identity paves its own path, able to reclaim language and actions where they do not have to hide but can live openly and freely.
Photograph by Joni Sternbach.
For approximately six months, Elias lived in a way that allowed them to openly express and explore their non-binary and genderqueer identity. During this period, they actively challenged normative concepts of beauty, queerness, and transness, pushing against the confines of expected gender roles and exploring more authentic self-expression beyond conventional boundaries and expectations.
Photo of artist Elias Wakeem in front of part of their photography exhibit “Gaza on my Mind.”
Madam Tayoush, Floating Lady.
Elias Wakeem, also known as Madam Tayoush, is a testament to the power of reclamation and trans liberation. Through their multifaceted artistry, Wakeem embodies the essence of nonconformity, celebrating the richness found in various identities as potent tools for self-expression. By fearlessly navigating the realms of genderqueer, nonbinary, and queer Arab identities, Wakeem redefines the boundaries of ‘otherness,’ illustrating it as a source of enrichment rather than alienation. Their art pieces and performances invite audiences to engage with and learn from the beauty inherent in uniqueness. Wakeem’s thought-provoking approach, incorporating unconventional body shapes and personas, creates a universal magical energy, surpassing societal limitations and inspiring a collective push towards acceptance and liberation.
Looking for the perfect mixture that would recreate exactly the color of stone.
I only turned in one assignment for that class,
A crudely drawn self portrait.
Nothing I was proud of.
This is not art.
I was an athlete
Training my body to repeat the same tasks over and over again,
To act without thinking,
An automaton built for a singular goal.
I was an actor.
Disappearing into a character,
Performing a role written and directed by someone else,
Copying the examples of others who have played the part before me.
This is not art.
I was a man
My parents raised me to be what they could never be,
Their own love tabooed.
They wanted me to be normal,
To prove that their abnormal hands could mold me the same as everyone else,
Make me into someone who could move through the world easier than them.
I didn’t talk for a day in highschool just to prove I didn’t have to.
Is this art?
I am a singer
My voice morphs into something else when I sing,
Straining to copy the sound of whatever tune is stuck in my head that day.
I sit at night and sing until my voice gets hoarse,
Practicing for a performance I will never give,
My only audience my own ears.
My music teacher called me tone-deaf.
I haven’t performed since.
Is this art?
I am me
Everyday I make my pilgrimage to the bathroom mirror
My own little shrine to change,
To movement.
I shave the beard that I hid behind for so long,
Paint a face that fits better what I want inside.
Some days I succeed more than others,
But trying feels good,
It feels good to have something to say,
In my own voice,
A picture brought out by my own hand.
Something I am proud of.
This is art.
This piece speaks to my thoughts of my own trans experience as a process of production and creation. For years I thought that I was someone who would never create my own art, never claim my own vision of the world or who I was. I thought that I would be happy just to fit in, to blend into the background, to do what everyone expected me to do. To be honest, I did that well, but it never brought me joy. I felt stagnant, like a robot just going about my daily life. I kept everything that was different about me, every interesting thing I might have to say bottled up inside for fear of rejection. It is only in creating my own path through the world, by claiming my own trans identity that I am able to gain joy. I enjoy being seen as different, as outside of the bounds of gender, as something else.
The self-portrait I have included as part of this piece is the first one that I have drawn since I was in that art class. In fact, it will be my first piece of visual art displayed publicly since that class. It felt important for me to include my first attempt at a self portrait since the one I turned in for that class. I am much more proud of this portrait itself, and the subject it represents. It might not be very technically skilled, but then again, I am not an artist.
I had started this post as a very generalized collection of Queer poetry relating to trans femmes, with themes such as transness, sex/kink, sexuality, grievances, trans rage, gender nonconformity, etc. Of course I have still found poems with these themes, but what I wasn’t expecting was the complete dominance of The Body theme. I myself, as a trans femme individual, have complicated and loving tendencies towards my body, but there was a propensity of The Body theme in which I was not fully ready for.
Trans and Queer individuals, no matter femme or not, have to live inside of their body, they have to justify what is going on and have to breathe and sleep within the same framing structures every single night. Sometimes, that is the part that hurts them the most, sometimes that is the joy they can gain from having a body. To me, transness doesn’t mean leaving my body or giving it away, it can for others, but my body IS important because I’m trans and disabled. There isn’t always an escape as well; the sheer amount of external pressure on trans individuals creates an Extremely strong focus on our bodies. I believe this external and internal focus on trans bodies to be a large reason why The Body and/or Body Horror is so prevalent when going through Trans Poetry.
Transness as a concept is not always in relation to ones body, the whole point of identity is to fit outside of the limitations placed on our bodies. Many of the poems I have put together speak on what the said limitations can do to them, but the trans body is also beauty. It’s the part of oneself you can fully share with the world around you, the only aspect that other trans people can physically hold closely. Body horror is hard to escape though, its something that we all know as Trans people, and its something that we are all facing no matter how we feel about our own bodies. I decide to face it though; it’s something that has to be looked at because it exists and affects marginalized individuals more. So, rather than doing a much to broad focus on transness as transness, I decided to focus on The Body. Going forward, there are multiple trigger warnings for the poems as the horror aspect tends to come out with trans femme & Queer individuals, especially in my own work.
On Death, Mourning, and Being Alive by Lincoln Salvador Luna
At times, to be alive, is to mourn. And to mourn, is to be so, intrinsically, alive. Often, we are taught to mourn those we have lost. Encouraged, stoically so, to grieve our parents, our friends, brothers, sisters, siblings, teachers, children. Always children. We put bodies in caskets and lower them, rotting, into the earth. Or, perhaps, we pick up ashes from strangers and spread them, too, into the earth. Yet, I do argue, that to have a body in a world that is not kind, too, is a type of mourning. – bitter and sickly.
My body does not fit in the coffin, or the boxes there is a label scrawled on the side screaming an apology out of me
I mourn all the things I did not have a chance to become.
My chest is scared; two thin lines where the doctors cut away fat – tissue – breast To make me man or pretty I do not know Still, when I look in the mirror trace fingertips over razor blade like lines I wonder, why freedom comes at such a heavy price
This body of mine; And what is body but a mourning And what am I mourning but a body An intrinsic existence; To be pretty, and angry Neither victim nor apology
This body of mine; blood, and bones, and bite and teeth and tongue And beauty like a decay cavities, and rust in your Tesla When your engine revs, coughs up: blood and soot, musk fresh piss and a Sunday mourning Our bodies, remain. Beauty like a decay: Constant and feral
And yet, We persist.
This poem, although, it might be read as rather vulgar to some, en-captures two messages for me. One; The mourning process transgender individuals go through as part of transition. We miss out on prom, and gym rooms, puberty on our terms, first dates and so much more not because of who we are – but because of how society has deem transgender individuals to be less than human. The second, wrapped around the death metaphor, is that we are still here. Queer folks are still here, we have persisted despite. And I think, like decay, that is quite beautiful.
Thanks for spending some time reading my work. Take care.
Trans Studies Archive 