Transit of Ila: Spectral Transitions in the Trans Experience

Transition is often framed as a unidirectional, finite narrative culminating in the “completion” of a trans body, which reflects an essentialized trans soul. Through the work of trans scholars like Julian Carter and continuing discussions in the trans community around the linear narrative, we increasingly see how transition is not an obstacle on the way to transness, but a state of being inherent to the trans experience. If we can identify transitional abundance in this way, where else might we locate transition in the trans experience? I argue that we as trans people are constantly engaging in transitions: dressing in a gendered way for work or school, painting or packing on the weekends to go out with our friends, dismissing or disregarding our identities for the comfort of others or the safety of ourselves. If we are invested in trans liberation and endeavor to break the transnormative narratives that exist both within the dominant social discourse and our own community, it is critical that we approach transition and, by extension, transness itself with an expansive viewpoint. We must each be empowered to claim transness in our own way and, as Carter states in his essay Keyword: Transition, “live in the time of our own becoming.”

In this photo essay, I seek to further expand the concept of transition and crystallize transitional movements of trans people in their daily lives. The title of this essay, Transit of Ila, draws inspiration from the Hindu deity Ila and their story. Ila exists in a state of transition, constantly changing genders to fulfill the expectations laid upon them by their family, their partner, and the gods. We, too, exist within an ever-shifting internal and external framework, our motion dictated by the winds of our efforts and the tides of social expectation. We are celestial bodies who transit around, across, and through one another, showing a different self when set against the sun or the night sky. As more trans folks resonate with the liberatory possibilities of what an expansive approach to transition could mean for trans folks across the globe, it is my hope that they will share their daily transitions through this project, which will continue growing along with our understanding of transition.

“I know it seems like a normal outfit but it was really stifling” -I.R., talking about their school clothes.

“I’m not out, so especially if I am preparing for a job interview or going back home to visit, my presentation changes. I don’t introduce myself with my pronouns, I don’t wear makeup, and I dress masculine. I transition everyday I leave my house.” -RS, artist

Resistance and Body Joy: An Art Series

A Project by Eli Smith

The
normative body is an image that is fed to United States citizens through media,
culture, and the current context of society and who holds power within it. Often,
this body is illustrated as a white, cisgender, heterosexual, able, thin body –
a body standard that very few people can meet. When it comes to the transgender
body, there is an especially high instance of shame associated with the reveal
of this body in gendered spaces that expect cisgenderism. When the trans body can
be shown, it is often in the context of pornography, nonconsensual exposure, or
violence against transgender and gender nonconforming people. In the cis
imaginary, transgender bodies should be passing and invisible in order to be
deemed appropriate – but with the cost of hormones, surgery, and material goods
such as clothing and make-up, the reality of seeking a cis-passing body can be
nearly impossible. Additionally, not all transgender people feel the need to alter
their bodies to pass as cisgender.

Existing
in a trans body can often mean internalizing shame, trauma, and low self-worth
because of what types of bodies are valued in our society, which includes what
bodies are seen as desirable for intimacy. This becomes a question of how to
find joy in the transgender body, and especially in the transgender body that
isn’t cis-passing, heterosexual, white, thin, and able. In Eli Clare’s essay,
“Resisting Shame: Making Our Bodies Home,” he writes that “I want [transgender
people] to find places of resistance: places where our bodies, families, and
communities become home… let us pay attention to shame as an issue of health
and wellness, community and family. Let us create the space to make our bodies
home, filling our skin to its very edges” (458-465). Here, Clare is putting an
emphasis on the power of trans people and the allies of trans people to create
spaces of resistance – spaces where trans bodies can be loved, desired, and
celebrated outside of a hypersexualized, shameful, or violent context.

Resistance
comes in many forms, including art. What bodies are displayed in museums,
portraits, and magazines tell us what bodies should be celebrated. In response
to this, and to create a space for my own resistance as a gender nonconforming
femme boy, I have created a series of six pop-art pieces that showcase a
variety of transgender bodies. Beneath each image is a quote from a transgender
person about where (and how) they find joy in their identities as transgender
individuals.

These
pieces feature nude bodies in natural, relaxed poses. The hypersexualization of
these bodies is absent to make room for the celebration of nonconforming bodies
and the immense beauty that comes with them. I would like to reiterate that
these bodies are desirable, in and of the way that bodies are beautiful because
of their unique, diverse attributes and the home they provide to us. I hope
that, within a transgender studies archive, these pictures will reach trans
youth looking for images of bodies like theirs – and upon seeing them, know
that their body is valuable, beautiful and worthy of empowering, consensual
intimacy. “We are not the ones dysphoric about our genders,” Clare emphasizes
in his piece, and I would like to emphasize this too – “dysphoria lives in the
world’s response to us” (460). Within this project, I hope to turn that
dysphoric response on its head. I want transgender joy and body joy to become
an attainable reality, especially for those whose bodies least resemble the
norm our heteropatriarchal society tries to impose on us.

Clare, Eli. “Resisting Shame: Making Our Bodies Home.” Seattle Journal for Social Justice, vol. 8, no. 2, May 2010. D2L.

…

The quotes following each image are responses to a prompt asking where transgender and gender nonconforming people find joy in their identities.

“Being able to educate others.”

“Not being alone in the struggle.”

“I feel empowered by my trans identity.”

“The community and love.”

“Being trans has brought depth to my life. I see the world differently now.”

“Having to deal with less patriarchal nonsense in partnerships and friendships.”